I don’t
think I’m gay - pretty
sure I’m not a lesbian.
I think
the only reason I sleep with girls is because I’m addicted to sex.
It doesn’t matter who it is.
I just want it.
I’ve never really been into
relationships.
My daddy says that’s a
good thing. He
doesn’t want me dating.
My
youth pastor agrees.
The youth
pastor says that dating leads to
sex, which leads to sin.
Daddy’s
reasons aren’t quite as righteous.
But Daddy
is a different story.
I’m doing a project on
abstinence for the youth party this weekend.
Presenting on why it’s not lame to
be a virgin like most kids say it is at school.
Presenting
on how valuable your innocence is.
I feel
like I’m lying.
I have not had a
negative outcome from sex yet.
I want to present on how it helps –
all it’s different functions.
You can use it to express your
love for someone,
to release endorphins,
to have fun,
to be in control,
to give up all control,
to feel loved,
to conceive a beautiful child,
to escape.
When it comes right down to it,
I honestly believe that sex is
better than
drugs,
alcohol,
cutting.
The
hardest part is keeping
up my reputation
as a good Christian
girl with
my newly found hobby.
I mean, it sort of takes two to tango, right?
Then again,
I don’t really care about my rep.
Maybe it’s a good thing to get
rid of.
But, I do love God.
I do love Jesus.
I want the Holy Spirit guiding
and directing me.
I just want
to be normal ,
and I despise Him for
not letting
me.
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